Glorious Day!!

The Resurrection
Early on Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.  She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved.  She said, "They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"  John 20:1-2 NLT 

Simon Peter and the other disciple went after Mary and saw that the tomb was empty and went home.  Heartbroken that Jesus' body had been taken away, Mary Magdalene remained and stood outside the tomb weeping.

She turned to leave and saw someone standing there.  It was Jesus, but she didn't recognize him.  "Dear woman, why are you crying?"  Jesus asked her, "Who are you looking for?"  She thought he was the gardener.  "Sir," she said, "if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him."  "Mary!" Jesus said.  She turned to him and cried out, "Rabboni!" (which is Hebrew for "Teacher").  "Don't cling to me," Jesus said, "for I haven't yet ascended to the Father.  But go find my brothers and tell them, "I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God."  Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, "I have seen the Lord!"  Then she gave them His message.   John 20:14-18 NLT

Jesus was not defeated by death - He came back to life as He promised.  The resurrection of Jesus is truly a GLORIOUS DAY!  It is a historical fact that authenticates who Jesus is and confirms all that is written in the Bible to be true.  Because of Jesus' brutal death on the cross, we can have peace with God, be forgiven for all our wrongdoing and look forward to heaven after death.  Jesus offers us peace and hope beyond all others for now and forever. 

This is great news for all of us - men and women alike (children too!).  However - I am especially comforted, encouraged and even empowered by Jesus' example as He interacted with women.  Perhaps this is because I often struggle to be comforted, encouraged and empowered myself.  Although I am surrounded by a great support system,  the worries and cares of this life on earth can be great and filled with trouble.  Other women often agree that they struggle with the same issues (we are not all that different after all) and there are times when I have little tangible help to offer.  However, as I look to the hope that Jesus offers, I am greatly encouraged!

Women appear often in the story of Jesus.  Jesus was born of a woman, had numerous interactions with women and revealed Himself first to a woman following His resurrection.  John's account of Jesus' resurrection (above) is astounding not only it its miracle but at this time in history,  a woman's testimony held no credibility in court.  Yet Mary served as the first witness to a risen, death-conquering King.....Jesus.  

Jesus crossed social and cultural barriers to engage women. He also healed, liberated, comforted, and delivered women.  In first century Palestine, Jesus' treatment of women was revolutionary.  He did the unthinkable by interacting with a Samaritan woman (Samaritans were despised by the Jews), by healing a diseased woman, by delivering a demon-possessed woman, and by giving respect and offering forgiveness to a prostitute.  I can only imagine the gratefulness each of these women felt after being offered respect, honor, and in some cases deliverance from pain and shame.

Long-time traditions as well as cultural norms are difficult to break through - yet Jesus did this time and time again.  He showed us by example a new way of living, of relating to and behaving towards one another.  Jesus put aside biases and attitudes of superiority and broke through meaningless traditions to step into the lives of the hurting, forgotten and cast aside.  He chose the unlikely to demonstrate His power at work. 

I need only to look at my own past choices & missed opportunities to feel unworthy and useless for God's service.  Thankfully - I'm learning, through the accounts of Jesus' work in the lives of the Biblical women, that Jesus offers new life, new purpose and new opportunities every day.  Nothing is too complicated, too difficult, too "dead" for Him to renew. 

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day
- Casting Crowns, "Glorious Day"

(I attend the Mt. Bethel Church in Mt. Bethel, Pennsylvania and our choir sang this song during our Resurrection Day worship service - I had already written these words in this post and was so moved by hearing it again, reminding me of all that Jesus has done for me AND FOR YOU!!)

Caught in the confict

I could tell something was wrong, the tension in the room was obvious and there was an undeniable awkwardness between us.  When  I asked her if everything was OK, she assured me that indeed it was.  However - her tone, body language and gestures "said" otherwise. 

We've all been there - on either side of it, right?  We can be the one who is hurt or angry and not knowing how to express or explain our feelings.  Or - we're the one who has done something but not sure of what. 

Sometimes our toughest challenges involve people rather than circumstances. Often these situations are more difficult to get over than inanimate ones.  We may find ourselves questioning our actions, obsessing over something we said, or completely bewildered, asking "how did I wind up in the middle of this situation?".....Caught in the conflict.

Relationships can be challenging  - after all, each of us are wired with our own emotional tendencies and view life through a unique, personal "lense".   We each see and interpret circumstances individually.  So there is bound to be a fair amount of misinterpretation.  Throw in some unmet needs and insecurities, stress and circumstances beyond one's control..... welcome to a great set up for a complicated relationship challenge.

Ever find yourself in one of these?  If not - consider yourself lucky -- or --- maybe you are just not getting out enough.

In my experience - family, church, and ministry opportunities seem to be a common place for these situations to show up.  That's just great - conflict where it hurts the most and can cause incredible amounts of collateral damage.

Now....I'll admit I can be a bit sensitive.  Perhaps this is because I am such a people person.  Anyone who knows me well will agree that I have a wide variety of friends.  I thoroughly enjoy being "out and about" in different social situations and I like being with all kinds of different people. I rarely come across someone that I strongly dislike.  So I end up taking relationship conflicts pretty hard....and personally.

My first inclination is to take responsibility for a conflict, asking myself, "what have I done?" or "what could I have done to avoid this?".   Then I ask myself - "is my sensitivity real or imagined?" As a people-pleaser and peacemaker by nature, this becomes the path of my emotions.  Some of you may relate to how I feel, others may think I'm overly sensitive or even in need of some therapy.  Either way, we all have something to learn about improving the way we address and manage conflict.   

God has been working through this specifically with me lately.  Its not been easy - but is been profound and has given me the opportunity to look closer at my own insecurities and tendencies in addressing conflict as well as become more sensitive to the needs of others.

I really am not an expert nor do I think I have all the answers.  However, since I've been in some pretty interesting and complicated conflicts - I'm sharing what I've learned with the hope that it may help someone work through and even resolve a complicated or difficult relationship in a new way.

Many have read or heard the quote "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle".  Viewing a conflict through this "lense" may be a good starting point.   Sometimes when I find myself in a complicated situation I consider whether or not the other party is dealing with something challenging.  Their negative reaction or lashing out may have nothing at all to do with me but have everything to do with a life crisis -- of which I may be completely unaware.

Another idea to consider is the issue of insecurities or unmet needs.  I now ask myself, "does this individual have an unmet need or an insecurity that may affect their reaction to the situation?"  This may explain a lot.  Some needs, like for control and significance, often emerge and may be the basis for an unanticipated (& often unwarranted) outburst.

Sometimes however, it is about me -- my own unmet needs or insecurities. And if the conflict is not resolved, I may end up offended...or being the offender. In the book, The Bait of Satan, John Bevere addresses the issue of conflict and offense.  He refers to these issues as traps that Satan uses to blind believers and keep them focused on themselves -- rather than pursuing peace and reconciliation, as God would have us do.  Hmmm..... interesting and food for thought. 

John Bevere has some great insights about the trap of offense.  He states in his book that when we are hurt by someone close to us,  bitterness and suspicion often creep in to the relationship, creating an ongoing sense of distrust.  I don't know about you but I've seen this pop up on occasion in my own life.  Its a place I've been to which I do not want to return. (I encourage you to check out John Bevere's book -- it contains some great ideas for working through conflict & offense within a biblical perspective)
 

So what do I now do with conflict and offense?  

• First I pray, asking God to enable me to see clearly and to give me wisdom.   God has alot to say about relationships - much of which I still have yet to learn.   The following verses from Paul's letter to the Ephesians have given me some ways to view and address relationship challenges: 

  "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the spirit, biding yourselves together with peace" Ephesians 4:1-3 New Living Translation (emphasis mine)

• I ask some questions, such as, "are there unmet needs or insecurities here?" or "is there something else going on of which I may not be aware that is affecting this situation?"   
• I consider whether or not my actions were misinterpreted due to an individuals personal "lense"
• I choose to make allowances for another's faults, recognizing that I have my own too.   
• I avoid thoughts of distrust or suspicion and refuse to rehearse past hurts

Conflict is a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships.  What's important is how we address and manage them. 

Telling Amy's Story

Domestic violence is a taboo subject for some, an awkward topic for others and a harsh reality for many.  Several years ago I met a domestic violence survivor whose experience and in-depth knowledge exposed me to the undeniable statistics and often misunderstood victims of this horrific issue.  Their stories and pain have changed me.

The other night I gathered with several women and watched a PBS documentary entitled, Telling Amy's Story.  This young, mother of two was murdered by her husband on November 8th, 2001.  She was dearly loved by her family and friends and had a full, long life ahead of her -- it was cut short when her husband murdered her inside their home while Amy's parents and children waited in a car only yards away.  Shocking?.....yes!  Uncommon?......unfortunately not.

Hosted by actress and activist Mariska Hargitay, the film shares the perspectives of Amy's friends, family, and coworkers as well as findings from court personnel on the weeks, months and years leading up to her death.   

I know that God is not ok with people being abused and it grieves Him to see intimate partners committing acts of violence towards one another.  We can all help in the fight against domestic violence. This fight begins with awareness and giving support to the victims -- and includes holding the perpetrators accountable for their actions.  

Telling Amy's Story is an amazing film.  Begin the conversation, learn about the problem, and become familiar with resources that can help a victim.  I guarantee what you learn from this film will change you.

God at work .....

"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work."  God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
   so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
   and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
   and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
   producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
   not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
   they'll complete the assignment I gave them."
Isaiah 55:8-11


I read this beautiful passage of scripture the other morning and saw it in a completely new light.  I found myself encouraged with the knowledge that God's ways and thoughts are far "beyond" mine -- AND felt reassured that, even amidst "dormant" times, God is still actively transforming my world - His words completing or accomplishing what He has planned.


The New Living Translation states verse 11 as "It is the same with my word.  I sent it out and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it".


For those of us who are relying on God's word, the Bible, to shape us and guide us -- we can often find ourselves listening (and willing to yield our hearts) to God, yet waiting for change or spiritual growth.  This may not necessarily be external change which others see, but may well be a heart change -- a greater sense of trust and faith deep within us.  For me the "fruit" I desire most is the steadfast, ongoing confidence in God that, even amidst stormy circumstances, calms me and brings peace.


The first few verses of this passage set the stage....God doesn't think the way I think nor does He work the way I work.  Where I may see circumstances as stagnant and immobile, God may see the situation in a completely different way.  AND... He may be waiting for just the right moment to meet my need, deliver me (or a loved one I'm praying for) and/or provide a clear and direct answer to an ongoing request.


As we move through the seasons of life, there are often times of stretching, growing and yes...... even waiting.  For an impatient, results-oriented person like me....waiting is really really hard.  Lets face it - stretching and growing is hard too!  Sometimes these seasons are more intense and angst-filled than others.  We may find ourselves waiting for positive test results, deliverance from an ugly stronghold, or for a child to reach a milestone the "professionals" said they'd never achieve.  Still others of us wait for a hurt to heal, forgiveness to be granted, resentment to go away, love to arrive, an answer....clear direction, the list goes on and on, doesn't it?


Yet we can be assured that God is at always at work, even amidst the stagnant, waiting time.


We've had enough snow lately for this passage to be very real to me!  And there is no rushing this season - whether it snows or rains (or both) is entirely up to God -- the weather is completely within His control.    I'm waiting for warm, sunny days to arrive.....


Its no wonder that God chooses references to nature to help us understand His ways.  As we experience changing seasons -- each bringing visible growth and change, one providing ideal conditions to usher in the next -- we can clearly see His creativity at work.  Some seasons are cold, dry and sparse, while others are filled with warmth and vibrant color.  Patience with the season's change and the growing process in nature is something absolutely necessary - there is no rushing it!


Any gardener will easily attest to the fact that ideal growing conditions are necessary for healthy plant and flower growth.  Seed dormancy is the natural mechanism or barrier which prevents growth until conditions are appropriate for strong, healthy seedling or plant growth.  This is why hyacinth bulbs planted in autumn remain dormant through winter.  Their vibrant green leaves emerge in the early spring - months of waiting in the cold, hard ground only to grow into a beautiful, fragrant flower - healthy and strong.  Dormancy varies amongst different species of seeds -- vegetable seeds have little to no dormancy while tree seeds have longer periods of dormancy.  Studies have shown that in some tree seeds, signs of life are almost undetectable.  Amazing!


Hmmmm, dormancy - every feel that way?  Just like God has designed nature to follow a process of rest or dormancy, our life circumstances may be the same way -- we may find ourselves or a circumstance showing little or slow progress -- even with no sign of life.  Don't lose hope -- God is always at work, preparing, setting the stage -- patiently allowing us to wait until the conditions are ideal for the next step to take place.


The point here is that God is certainly just as creative and patient with us as He is with nature.  And - those of us who are waiting may be in a period of dormancy during which God is setting up the ideal situation for which to deliver, respond, answer, heal, or provide.


What am I learning?
Well, rather than fret and become inpatient during these waiting or dormant times, I am learning to search out and trust in the promises found in God's Word, the Bible.  I can trust Him (and so can you!) to prepare the ideal conditions on my behalf -- knowing that He is not working or thinking as I do, but that fruit will come, in His time, according to His plan, accomplishing all that He desires.