A hole in the clouds

My day began with tossing and turning…in my bed …at 3am.  No matter how many times I closed my eyes – those few additional hours of sleep were not meant to be.  So by 4 I gave up.  I crawled out of bed, tiptoed into the kitchen and poured my first cup of coffee.

Part of me anticipated something big, thinking, God would only awaken me if He had something important to reveal, right?  So, with coffee in hand, I grabbed my bible and journal, and settled in my comfy chair for some treasured solitude with God.

Although I just returned from a relaxing family vacation, the anxiety I’d been nursing remained and lying lakeside provided but a brief reprieve from the stress worry brings.  Lets face it – these are trying times.  Our personal worlds are filled with unique situations that bring fear on varied fronts.  Yet the question for me remains, why this ongoing struggle of worry & fear within my heart when my head is aware of God’s promises?

Some would respond to my question with, “you should spend more time in prayer” or  “you should memorize scriptures to battle your fears”.  While true (and I completely agree!), right now for me that is easier said than done.  Yet, perhaps this was the reason behind my early morning anticipation – the hope of God speaking a word of reassurance directly into the cares of my life.

Of course…..He did.

I ashamedly admit taking a sneak peak at my laptop before my Bible.  My reasoning was to check the precise time for sunrise.  Surely seeing the sun come over the horizon would remind me of God’s greatness and assure me of His power.  So at 6am, I ventured outside -- along with my third helping of morning java -- pointed my face east and waited.   As morning dawned, rather than being greeted by the golden hues of a rising sun, my eyes met puffy grey clouds, moving quickly across the sky. 

Ok God….what’s the purpose in this? 

Where’s the sun?

The rolling, grey clouds changed shape and shade as the gentle breeze moved them onward.  Long, taffy-like stretches of darkness were mixed with milky grey as the sun rose behind the cloud front.  I thought about how much the clouds resembled my cares – some appearing heavier and moving along more slowly than others. 

Then I saw it – a hole in the clouds.  It gradually began to grow in size and brightness. 

Just like life…. those rolling clouds and shades of gray resemble my trials and trouble.  As my heart looks upward toward God, I can choose to focus on His power and promises.  Then, amidst the clouds of fear and worry, a glimpse of sunshine and light appears.

As I finish this writing – the skies have darkened yet again.  But I’m learning that that God’s light is waiting behind the clouds.  The hope I have as His beloved daughter never really darkens.  It may be shaded by the clouds of worry and fear, but I can know that the light of God’s promises remain strong and true. 

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  Psalm 62:5&6 NIV

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.  Proverbs 3:5&6 The Message

Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, “God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” Hebrews 13:6 The Message