Thwarted plans....encouragement for when things don't go your way

John Lennon was perhaps most wise when he penned, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" – many would agree his words are right on. 

At times our life experience is smooth sailing.  Yet every so often we are forced to batten down our emotional hatches so as to remain afloat during circumstantial gales.  Navigating through upsets amidst the changing seasons of my own life has taught me lessons I’d rather not learn – yet they’ve birthed a maturity and sense of guarded wisdom that has since served to steady my wavering heart.  

Perhaps you too have had your patience tested, vision blurred or hopes dashed.  Or maybe we’ve spun our own wheels so deep that the situational (or relational) ditch we’ve dug seems impossible to escape.  

Moments like these breed companionship with discouragement and despair.  At times they often lead our wounded souls into the slimy, dark pit of worry and hopelessness. 

Still others encounter sudden and tragic loss -- the premature passing of a loved one, a chronic illness or the death of a dream.    While at times seemingly unexplainable, suffering and evil is a stark reality – to which no one is immune.  Sometimes all we are able to do is ask, where was God?  why her?  why him?  why me?

I’ll not attempt to explain the reasons for tragic suffering – but leave that for wise theologians as well as for the survivors, whose telling of rising amidst life’s greatest storms speak for themselves. 

While a recent tragedy may not be your story, you might be within a painful season of defeat and frustration due to circumstances beyond your control.  Worse yet, perhaps your misery is a result of personal failure.  Regardless of the cause, when life is not “going your way”, may the following give you reason for looking to the future with hopeful anticipation.

Bring your disappointment to God

God waits for us to approach Him unashamedly -- sharing our disillusionment and regret openly and honestly – with the expectation that He will hear and respond.  The apostle Paul writes “give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you” I Peter 5:7. 

Just as David wrote in the Psalms, we too can trust that God can rescue us from the pit. 

 “I waited and waited and waited for God.  At last He looked; finally He listened.  He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud.  He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.”  Psalm 40:1-2 The Message.

When called upon, God promises to bring hope and comfort amidst the dark and lonely seasons.  The apostle Paul also wrote about the hope that faith in Jesus brings and likens it to “having the eyes of your heart flooded with light.” Ephesians 1:18, Amplified Bible. 

God is not limited by our misfortune

God can work amidst adverse circumstances and personal failures.  In fact, throughout history God has used the weak and unlikely to accomplish the impossible.  God continues to show Himself strong at our weakest moments.  Perhaps it is our resistance to His ways that hinders our ability to experience His deliverance.  

So, slow down, take a deep breath and hear God saying to you right now, “your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me” Isaiah 30:15 The Message.

God may have another, better plan

When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.  When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—Because I am God, your personal God, Isaiah 43:2 The Message.

God knows what He is doing.  When our plans don’t work out, we can trust that His will.  He has “plans to take care of us, not abandon us, and to give us the future we’ve hoped for”  Jeremiah 29:11 The Message. 

While these truths may bring cerebral calm, our hearts are often slower to catch on. Yet we can be assured that God is aware of the trials (and even tragedies) we face.  He sees when our well-orchestrated plans collide with circumstances beyond our control.  And when things don’t go our way…. we can trust that God’s plans and purposes remain. 

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11.

 "Your eternal word, O LORD, stands firm in heaven. Your faithfulness extends to every generation as enduring as the earth you created. Your regulations remain true to this day for EVERYTHING SERVES YOUR PLANS." Psalm 119:89-91 New Living Translation (emphasis mine).

As followers of Jesus, we can depend upon these truths --- if you are not trusting in Jesus or if you are unsure of where you stand with God – please visit www.needhim.com

for all the moms of boys...

More than ten years ago I came across this poem written by Shirley Pope Waite.  It illustrates my heart's cry for my own boys.   

So I share it with the hope it is a comfort to other moms of boys -- they need us standing in the gap for them.

I’ll stand in the gap for my son.

I’ll stand ‘till the victory’s won.

This one thing I know that you love him so

and your work with my child is not done.

I’ll stand in the gap every day, and there I will fervently pray.

And Lord just one favor don’t let me waver if things get quite rough, which they may.

I’ll never give up on that boy.

Nor will you, for you promised him joy.

For I know it was true when he said  ”yes” to you,

Though the enemy seeks to destroy. 

I’ll not quit as I intercede, for you are his Savior, indeed!

Though it may take years, I give you my fears, as I trust every moment I plead.

And so in the gap I will stand, heeding your every command,

With help from above, I’ll unconditionally love,

and soon he will reach for your hand!        

            - Shirley Pope Waite

 

Cabin Bound

The time I spend with my family and dear friends at the Cabin in northern Wisconsin has become my favorite time of the year!  Every August Steve & I pack the boys and "accessories" into our family vehicle and trek halfway across the northern part of the United States to the small town of Minong, Wisconsin -- population 524. 

Famous for being the headquarters of Jack Link's Beef Jerky, this welcoming community is situated an hour south of Lake Superior amongst sandy soil, birch trees and pines.  Its many lakes and scenic waterways are a draw for city dwellers looking to escape the hustle and bustle in exchange for fishing, boating, hunting and everything outdoors! 

What began as a friendship in high school has blossomed into a life-long bond.  Karin and her family have graciously welcomed our entire brood for the past 8 summers and we've watched as our children have grown -- the grocery bill increasing with each subsequent year.

Our mid-August family excursion has included the start of several annual traditions:  Minong Days, a trip (or two) to Hayward, kayaking down the Namekagon, the Midnight Chunky Dunk, early morning fishing, swimming at the sandbar, sailing, a picnic on Pancake Island, Haakon's birthday party, a wedding anniversary, boating on the Minong Flowage with a stop at Sand Island and several others.  We'll soon have to extend our stay beyond 10 days to accommodate all the fun!

Rendevous Supper!

We've made some new friends too!  The Boisen's introduced us to "Rendevous", a trading fair for mountain men during the early 1800's.  Two years ago, Jim & Judy replicated this event, staging trading tents, knife-pitching and finishing the evening off with a traditional barbeque. 

Rendevous

The Cabin on the lake

What began as the Gulbrandsen cabin-getaway has become their year-round family home.  Each year has added another element to the cabin compound.  This year Erik built a little cabin near the lakefront -- enabling us to enjoy the beautiful sunset bug-free from this in haven in the woods. 









Another highlight to my week is a visit from Karin's mom, Ardis and sisters, Kristin & Jennifer - who have become like family to me!  I even think we have begun to look alike - I fit right in, don't I?

The Northwoods Girls

My boys (Steve included!) anticipate our Cabin trip each year.  Dinner conversation includes Cabin talk for weeks before we leave.  The waders made the trip with us this year but were never used -- there was less time for fishing but more time spent sailing and being just plain silly on the lake!

Dan & Matt became expert sailors

Jake in his pool-boat

Jake taking the plunge

We visited family in Ashland - thanks JoAnn, Todd & kids!  Swimming in Lake Superior was refreshing and fun watching the kids enjoy the high dive.  

The three guys - forced smiles, of course!

Amazingly amidst all the family activity, Karin and I were able to spend together as friends too -- riding the gator to her weekly bible study at The River Church (its a WONDERFUL place!) and exploring project options at the local yarn shop. 

 

We had a wonderful trip -- it came to an end way too quickly.  September is here, school has begun and daily routines are back in full-swing.  I treasure the memories made this year as well as in years past and am already looking forward to more in years to come!

So - what's the point in my writing about my trip?  Perhaps not much -- other than I've learned to treasure the dear friends who have joined my life's journey.  Some have been family -- siblings, cousins and in-laws, and others have been friends....but grafted in as family along the way. 

God created a wonderful gift when He placed us together in community and I am thankful for those in mine. 

A hole in the clouds

My day began with tossing and turning…in my bed …at 3am.  No matter how many times I closed my eyes – those few additional hours of sleep were not meant to be.  So by 4 I gave up.  I crawled out of bed, tiptoed into the kitchen and poured my first cup of coffee.

Part of me anticipated something big, thinking, God would only awaken me if He had something important to reveal, right?  So, with coffee in hand, I grabbed my bible and journal, and settled in my comfy chair for some treasured solitude with God.

Although I just returned from a relaxing family vacation, the anxiety I’d been nursing remained and lying lakeside provided but a brief reprieve from the stress worry brings.  Lets face it – these are trying times.  Our personal worlds are filled with unique situations that bring fear on varied fronts.  Yet the question for me remains, why this ongoing struggle of worry & fear within my heart when my head is aware of God’s promises?

Some would respond to my question with, “you should spend more time in prayer” or  “you should memorize scriptures to battle your fears”.  While true (and I completely agree!), right now for me that is easier said than done.  Yet, perhaps this was the reason behind my early morning anticipation – the hope of God speaking a word of reassurance directly into the cares of my life.

Of course…..He did.

I ashamedly admit taking a sneak peak at my laptop before my Bible.  My reasoning was to check the precise time for sunrise.  Surely seeing the sun come over the horizon would remind me of God’s greatness and assure me of His power.  So at 6am, I ventured outside -- along with my third helping of morning java -- pointed my face east and waited.   As morning dawned, rather than being greeted by the golden hues of a rising sun, my eyes met puffy grey clouds, moving quickly across the sky. 

Ok God….what’s the purpose in this? 

Where’s the sun?

The rolling, grey clouds changed shape and shade as the gentle breeze moved them onward.  Long, taffy-like stretches of darkness were mixed with milky grey as the sun rose behind the cloud front.  I thought about how much the clouds resembled my cares – some appearing heavier and moving along more slowly than others. 

Then I saw it – a hole in the clouds.  It gradually began to grow in size and brightness. 

Just like life…. those rolling clouds and shades of gray resemble my trials and trouble.  As my heart looks upward toward God, I can choose to focus on His power and promises.  Then, amidst the clouds of fear and worry, a glimpse of sunshine and light appears.

As I finish this writing – the skies have darkened yet again.  But I’m learning that that God’s light is waiting behind the clouds.  The hope I have as His beloved daughter never really darkens.  It may be shaded by the clouds of worry and fear, but I can know that the light of God’s promises remain strong and true. 

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  Psalm 62:5&6 NIV

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.  Proverbs 3:5&6 The Message

Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, “God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” Hebrews 13:6 The Message

One Gutsy Gal

Someone recently commented that I was a nice person – a very nice compliment (no pun intended).  Please don’t misunderstand; I appreciate an accolade now and then -- yet sometimes I tire of my niceness. 

My being nice doesn’t make a dramatic difference in the world.  Nor is it risky or daring.  Sometimes being nice means I don’t get my way.  Hmmmm, doesn’t sound very exciting, does it?

 

I used to think being nice was foundational to living out my faith.  Boy was I wrong (& completely misinformed)!  Jesus wasn't always nice.  Last time I checked, He even had a few enemies. 

In her book Nice Girls Don’t Change the World, Lynn Hybels states that the opposite of being a nice girl is a “good woman”. 

A good woman means trading the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness.  It means moving from the weakness and immaturity of girlhood toward the strength and maturity of womanhood.  (pg 21)

Among other things - she goes on to say that a good woman doesn’t let fear stop her and that a “good woman can be, in reality, a dangerous woman – a woman who shows up with everything she is and joins the battle against whatever opposes the redeeming work of God in our lives and in our world.“(pg 89)

Tucked away in chapters 4 – 6 of the Biblical book of Judges is a brief story of a very dangerous woman who rose above her circumstances and became a hero.  Although most of us have never seen her story played out on a Sunday School felt board, it is one worth telling. 

Jael lived several thousand years ago -- hundreds of years before Jesus walked the earth.  Most likely she was a very well behaved wife, housekeeper, mother and friend.  Although she was an Israelite, her husband had uprooted his family from their close-knit tribal community and re-settled amongst the neighboring Canaanites.  We are told that her husband formed a friendly alliance with the Canaanite King Jabin. 

At this time in history, the Israelites and Canaanites were hostile neighbors -- the Canaanites having the upper hand.  Sisera, a ruthless and cruel Canaanite army commander was making life miserable for the Israelites – a misery that continued for decades.

Weary from the severe Canaanite oppression, the Israelites cried out to God for help.  We’re told that God told the Israelite army to advance & attack the Canaanites, promising a victory.  So, the poorly armed Israelites marched into battle against Sisera’s superior military force. 

As the battle between the two armies ensued, God sent a violent storm to confuse the Canaanite warriors.  They charged into a valley, where they died by the swords of the Israelites.  Not a single Canaanite warrior survived.  However, their commander Sisera, managed to escape on foot.

“Meanwhile, Sisera ran to the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, because Heber’s family was on friendly terms with King Jabin of Hazor.  Jael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, “come into my tent, sir.  Come in. Don’t be afraid.”  So he went into her tent, and she covered him with a blanket.

“Please give me some water, “ he said.  “I’m thirsty.”  So she gave him some milk from a leather bag and covered him again.

“Stand at the door of the tent” he told her.  “If anybody comes and asks you if there is anyone here, say no.”

But when Sisera fell asleep from exhaustion, Jael quietly crept up to him with a hammer and tent peg in her hand.  Then she drove the tent peg through his temple and into the ground and so he died. 

Judges 4:17 – 21 NLT

Wowzers!  Gotta give Jael credit for her bravery and quick thinking prowess.  She is quite the gutsy gal. 

So gutsy in fact that she became a legend amongst her people.  Judges chapter 6 includes a song with a portion written in her honor:

“Most blessed among women is Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite.  May she be blessed above all women who live in tents.

Sisera asked for water, and she gave him milk.  In a bowl fit for nobles, she brought him yogurt.

Then with her left hand she reached for a tent peg, and with her right hand for the workman’s hammer.

She struck Sisera with the hammer, crushing his head.

With a shattering blow, she pierced his temples.

He sank, he fell, he lay still at her feet.

And where he sank, there he died.”            Judges 5:24-27

So, what have I learned from this dangerous woman?

•     Like Jael, I can choose to see purpose in my circumstances – and believe that God has positioned me for a perfect opportunity to serve Him no matter how alone, overwhelmed or afraid I may feel.  It was Jael’s circumstances that strategically positioned her for the opportunity to become a hero to her people.

•     Like Jael, I can choose not to allow my status to limit me. Isn’t it just like God to chose someone weak to vanquish someone strong?  Although I may feel inadequate, unprepared and insignificant, God can make a way for me to emerge victorious over any challenge.  Sisera was a wicked military leader with thousands of warriors at his disposal, yet he was no match for God’s warrior, Jael. 

•     Like Jael, I can take action – no matter how risky or out-of-the-box it may seem.  When Jael saw the opportunity, rather than wait for someone else to come along, she steadied her hand, raised her hammer and struck.  

How about you?  Do you find yourself living amidst complicated circumstances?  Perhaps you are far from home or living amongst the unfamiliar.  Or - you may feel alone, inadequate or weak.  May Jael's story give you a different perspective with which to view your world AND give you hope for the future.

Lynn Hybel wrote this poem and included in her book.  It inspires me and I pray that it may inspire you to live "dangerously" too!

May we be dangerous women.

May we be women who acknowledge our power to change, and grow, and be radically alive for God.

May we be healers of wounds and righters of wrongs.

May we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

May we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.

May we pray deeply and teach wisely.

May we be srong and gentle leaders.

May we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.

May we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us, and righteous anger energize.

May we strike fear into all that is unjust and evil in the world.

May we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.

May we shine like stars in a darkened generation. 

May we overflow with goodness in the name of God and by the power of Jesus. 

And in that name, and by that power, may we change the world.

Dear God, Please make us dangerous women.

Amen.