Thursday, December 1, 2011

World Aids Day 2011


Today marks the 23rd annual World Aids Day, the day established by the World Health Organization to raise awareness of this disease, to remember those who have died, and to support the estimated 33 million who are living with HIV/AIDS worldwide (95% of them in developing countries). 

Getting to Zero” is the theme for World Aids Day 2011.  The hope is for zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS-related deaths.    

Since the first cases surfaced in 1981, an estimated 60 million people have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.  According to UNAIDS, an estimated 2 million people are newly diagnosed each year.  If we consider those untested and those who remain unaware of their exposure – these numbers, in reality, are much higher.

A staggering 25 million people have lost their lives to this dreadful disease leaving behind grieving lovers, children, relatives and friends.

For me -- this issue hits close to home.

It’s been 4531 days since I said my earthly good-byes to a loved one who lost his battle with AIDS. 

I miss him. 

I often think of who he may have become had he lived beyond his 29 years.  His eye for design (both interior and exterior) was keen and he was renowned for his ability to transform trash into treasure.   He was interesting, witty and full-of-life. 

To his friends he was the life of the party.  Always fun-loving, outgoing and ready for adventure. 

To his family – he was the “baby”, the youngest of 4 children. 

It was a heartbreaking, complicated, frustrating and at times even comical 18-month good-by.

When he first became sick, he claimed all sorts of maladies.  While several of the diagnosis were realistic and at first seemed the reason behind the drastic weight loss and repeated respiratory infections, it soon became clear there was more to his multitude of health issues. 

I shudder to recall the moment I recognized it as HIV.  I had seen that look before – the gaunt face, graying skin and wasting physique.  It was as if -- all of the sudden – I knew.  The weeks of helping him manage ongoing illness, infections and chronic fatigue made sense.   

For him, the mental toll of keeping the lies alive as well as the emotional pain knowing death was ahead must have been exhausting, overwhelming and frightening.    

To my knowledge he suffered alone in that he neither revealed nor confessed his diagnosis to anyone. 

I may never understand this side of heaven his reasons for never acknowledging the obvious.  Nor may I ever understand why he refused all medical intervention.

Its taken years for me to come to a place of peace with my sorrow over his decisions – often asking myself those obvious questions…over and over and over again.  

“Could I have done or said something that may have paved the way for him to pursue treatment for his disease?” 

“Did I contribute to any negative stigma he may have felt?” 

“Did any of my words or behavior create a perception of judgment due to his lifestyle and subsequent illness?” 

Emerging amidst these melancholy memories has been an increasing awareness of the unique challenges experienced by those affected by and living with HIV/AIDS. 

This disease is not slowing in its indiscriminate attack – there is much that can still be done to combat the negative stigma and prejudice towards its victims and to support research towards a cure. 

Recently I had the privilege of hearing one woman tell of her 20-year “battle” with HIV.   Since being diagnosed she has married and given birth to a child free of HIV.  As I listened intently, she shared how she is fighting this disease with all she’s got and that her life, albeit shadowed by this diagnosis, is a healthy one -- full of love and appreciation for each added year.   

We cried tears of mutual sorrow -- for the loved ones we’ve lost and for the hope of a future cure. 

Perhaps we will one day “get to zero”. 

Let us not forget that today is World Aids Day – a day to be aware of the risks and available resources; to remember the victims; and to support research as well as the tens of millions living with and affected by HIV/AIDS.