Thursday, December 1, 2011

World Aids Day 2011


Today marks the 23rd annual World Aids Day, the day established by the World Health Organization to raise awareness of this disease, to remember those who have died, and to support the estimated 33 million who are living with HIV/AIDS worldwide (95% of them in developing countries). 

Getting to Zero” is the theme for World Aids Day 2011.  The hope is for zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS-related deaths.    

Since the first cases surfaced in 1981, an estimated 60 million people have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.  According to UNAIDS, an estimated 2 million people are newly diagnosed each year.  If we consider those untested and those who remain unaware of their exposure – these numbers, in reality, are much higher.

A staggering 25 million people have lost their lives to this dreadful disease leaving behind grieving lovers, children, relatives and friends.

For me -- this issue hits close to home.

It’s been 4531 days since I said my earthly good-byes to a loved one who lost his battle with AIDS. 

I miss him. 

I often think of who he may have become had he lived beyond his 29 years.  His eye for design (both interior and exterior) was keen and he was renowned for his ability to transform trash into treasure.   He was interesting, witty and full-of-life. 

To his friends he was the life of the party.  Always fun-loving, outgoing and ready for adventure. 

To his family – he was the “baby”, the youngest of 4 children. 

It was a heartbreaking, complicated, frustrating and at times even comical 18-month good-by.

When he first became sick, he claimed all sorts of maladies.  While several of the diagnosis were realistic and at first seemed the reason behind the drastic weight loss and repeated respiratory infections, it soon became clear there was more to his multitude of health issues. 

I shudder to recall the moment I recognized it as HIV.  I had seen that look before – the gaunt face, graying skin and wasting physique.  It was as if -- all of the sudden – I knew.  The weeks of helping him manage ongoing illness, infections and chronic fatigue made sense.   

For him, the mental toll of keeping the lies alive as well as the emotional pain knowing death was ahead must have been exhausting, overwhelming and frightening.    

To my knowledge he suffered alone in that he neither revealed nor confessed his diagnosis to anyone. 

I may never understand this side of heaven his reasons for never acknowledging the obvious.  Nor may I ever understand why he refused all medical intervention.

Its taken years for me to come to a place of peace with my sorrow over his decisions – often asking myself those obvious questions…over and over and over again.  

“Could I have done or said something that may have paved the way for him to pursue treatment for his disease?” 

“Did I contribute to any negative stigma he may have felt?” 

“Did any of my words or behavior create a perception of judgment due to his lifestyle and subsequent illness?” 

Emerging amidst these melancholy memories has been an increasing awareness of the unique challenges experienced by those affected by and living with HIV/AIDS. 

This disease is not slowing in its indiscriminate attack – there is much that can still be done to combat the negative stigma and prejudice towards its victims and to support research towards a cure. 

Recently I had the privilege of hearing one woman tell of her 20-year “battle” with HIV.   Since being diagnosed she has married and given birth to a child free of HIV.  As I listened intently, she shared how she is fighting this disease with all she’s got and that her life, albeit shadowed by this diagnosis, is a healthy one -- full of love and appreciation for each added year.   

We cried tears of mutual sorrow -- for the loved ones we’ve lost and for the hope of a future cure. 

Perhaps we will one day “get to zero”. 

Let us not forget that today is World Aids Day – a day to be aware of the risks and available resources; to remember the victims; and to support research as well as the tens of millions living with and affected by HIV/AIDS.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Simple Strategies for Fostering Resiliency in Parenting


One need not be a parent long to acknowledge this privilege isn’t for cowards.  While frequently an indescribable joy it is also a momentous responsibility – for which there is little training, no qualification checks, no periodic evaluations nor are there performance guarantees. 

Plain and simple….parenting is hard work.

However – we are not without help.  Resources abound – from parenting seminars and support groups to online-forums and published works, we are nearly overwhelmed with an assortment of support for this life-long journey.

Approaches to parenting differ as well.  If you're anything like me, you’ve tried a wide variety.  A quick search for parenting books on a popular on-line store turned up such titles as:  Simplicity Parenting, Grace-based Parenting, Playful Parenting, Positive Parenting, Purposeful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, and, my personal favorite, Screamfree Parenting. 

Sometimes, especially when passing through a difficult season or experience with one of my children, I wind up feeling as if I’ve exhausted my parenting resources and tried every trick in the book to no avail.  So, when persuasive counsel and barking instructions cultivate more tension than positive results, its time to apply a different strategy. 

Resiliency….

Not necessarily in my child …… but for me.

Some define resiliency as an innate ability to bounce back following adversity or failure.  Others claim it to be an acquired skill-set that enables one to survive major setbacks and successfully navigate the storms and trauma of life. 

For me – it is a basic necessity in the course of my parenting and a prerequisite for peace during seasons of strife.  Resiliency enables me to rebound from most parenting faux pas, fostering a hopeful outlook on life (and parenting!).

So – here are several strategies I employ amid those bleak parenting moments when I'm not sure what to do next.  They may sound simple – but I find they break the ice, cultivate dialogue, and ease the tension – first and foremost for me – and then also for my children.

Remain stable and steady and dependable – perhaps more so during the adolescent years than any other, our children need a safe and secure place to land.  Experts claim that brain development accelerates dramatically during the teen years, which partially explains why adolescents are prone to drastic mood swings and strong emotional outbursts.  Therefore it’s important for parents to remain calm, cool and collected despite our teenager’s irrational or unexpected behavior.  For me, remaining firm in my convictions and managing my expectations is important.   My schedule needs to have added margin and I often mentally prepare myself for stressful encounters.  Breathing exercises, counting to 10, choosing to say nothing (not even under my breath) are all safe behaviors.  A few sessions with a professional counselor or trusted advisor helps too!

Acknowledge, Affirm and Assure – In addition to being a season filled with significant mood swings and drastic physical changes, adolescence is a breeding ground for insecurities, misunderstandings and, at times, near paranoia.  One moment our teens are assured of our love and next (usually following a corrective discussion, loss of a privilege or push in the right direction) they see us as the enemy and themselves as an inconvenience and a burden.  Its equally important to acknowledge their worth.  Tell them they are special, affirm their talents and God-given gifts, and assure them they are loved…..over and over and over again.  Write it down.  Put a note on their pillow, tape it to the bathroom mirror, stick it in their book-bag or lunch box and secure it to the car dashboard.  They cannot hear it or read it enough!

Huga lot.  There are times when a warm hand on the shoulder or gentle squeeze connects us in ways which go beyond what is possible with mere words -- especially when the right words are hard to come by.  Research indicates that children who experience healthy physical affection within their family relationships have higher self-esteem and a greater sense of well-being throughout life. 

Retell a treasured memory from their childhood – Consider jotting down several “firsts” – first words, first steps, first time riding a bike, first camping trip, you get the picture.  How about a favorite toy, TV show or movie?  Who was their favorite childhood friend and what was the activity they enjoyed the most?  Better yet, recall some of their funny habits or tendencies.   Sharing these memories will bring both smiles and a feeling of cheer to the room, lightening the overall atmosphere.

This list is certainly not exhaustive.  For a brief list of websites on pursuing healthy relationships and raising children click here. 

I'm currently readin, For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa a. Rice and often look to the topical resource Parenting with Scripture by Kara Durbin.  

Question:  Do you have some strategies that help you bounce back following a challenging parenting moment?  

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Thwarted plans....encouragement for when things don't go your way


John Lennon was perhaps most wise when he penned, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" – many would agree his words are right on. 

At times our life experience is smooth sailing.  Yet every so often we are forced to batten down our emotional hatches so as to remain afloat during circumstantial gales.  Navigating through upsets amidst the changing seasons of my own life has taught me lessons I’d rather not learn – yet they’ve birthed a maturity and sense of guarded wisdom that has since served to steady my wavering heart.  

Perhaps you too have had your patience tested, vision blurred or hopes dashed.  Or maybe we’ve spun our own wheels so deep that the situational (or relational) ditch we’ve dug seems impossible to escape.  

Moments like these breed companionship with discouragement and despair.  At times they often lead our wounded souls into the slimy, dark pit of worry and hopelessness. 

Still others encounter sudden and tragic loss -- the premature passing of a loved one, a chronic illness or the death of a dream.    While at times seemingly unexplainable, suffering and evil is a stark reality – to which no one is immune.  Sometimes all we are able to do is ask, where was God?  why her?  why him?  why me?

I’ll not attempt to explain the reasons for tragic suffering – but leave that for wise theologians as well as for the survivors, whose telling of rising amidst life’s greatest storms speak for themselves. 

While a recent tragedy may not be your story, you might be within a painful season of defeat and frustration due to circumstances beyond your control.  Worse yet, perhaps your misery is a result of personal failure.  Regardless of the cause, when life is not “going your way”, may the following give you reason for looking to the future with hopeful anticipation.

Bring your disappointment to God
God waits for us to approach Him unashamedly -- sharing our disillusionment and regret openly and honestly – with the expectation that He will hear and respond.  The apostle Paul writes “give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you” I Peter 5:7. 

Just as David wrote in the Psalms, we too can trust that God can rescue us from the pit. 

 “I waited and waited and waited for God.  At last He looked; finally He listened.  He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud.  He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.”  Psalm 40:1-2 The Message.

When called upon, God promises to bring hope and comfort amidst the dark and lonely seasons.  The apostle Paul also wrote about the hope that faith in Jesus brings and likens it to “having the eyes of your heart flooded with light.” Ephesians 1:18, Amplified Bible. 

God is not limited by our misfortune
God can work amidst adverse circumstances and personal failures.  In fact, throughout history God has used the weak and unlikely to accomplish the impossible.  God continues to show Himself strong at our weakest moments.  Perhaps it is our resistance to His ways that hinders our ability to experience His deliverance.  

So, slow down, take a deep breath and hear God saying to you right now, “your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me” Isaiah 30:15 The Message.

God may have another, better plan
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.  When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—Because I am God, your personal God, Isaiah 43:2 The Message.

God knows what He is doing.  When our plans don’t work out, we can trust that His will.  He has “plans to take care of us, not abandon us, and to give us the future we’ve hoped for  Jeremiah 29:11 The Message. 

While these truths may bring cerebral calm, our hearts are often slower to catch on. Yet we can be assured that God is aware of the trials (and even tragedies) we face.  He sees when our well-orchestrated plans collide with circumstances beyond our control.  And when things don’t go our way…. we can trust that God’s plans and purposes remain. 

"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11.

 "Your eternal word, O LORD, stands firm in heaven. Your faithfulness extends to every generation as enduring as the earth you created. Your regulations remain true to this day for EVERYTHING SERVES YOUR PLANS." Psalm 119:89-91 New Living Translation (emphasis mine).

As followers of Jesus, we can depend upon these truths --- if you are not trusting in Jesus or if you are unsure of where you stand with God – please visit www.needhim.com


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

for all the moms of boys...

More than ten years ago I came across this poem written by Shirley Pope Waite.  It illustrates my heart's cry for my own boys.   

So I share it with the hope it is a comfort to other moms of boys -- they need us standing in the gap for them.

I’ll stand in the gap for my son.
I’ll stand ‘till the victory’s won.
This one thing I know that you love him so
and your work with my child is not done.

I’ll stand in the gap every day, and there I will fervently pray.
And Lord just one favor don’t let me waver if things get quite rough, which they may.

I’ll never give up on that boy.
Nor will you, for you promised him joy.
For I know it was true when he said  ”yes” to you,
Though the enemy seeks to destroy. 

I’ll not quit as I intercede, for you are his Savior, indeed!
Though it may take years, I give you my fears, as I trust every moment I plead.

And so in the gap I will stand, heeding your every command,
With help from above, I’ll unconditionally love,
and soon he will reach for your hand!        
            - Shirley Pope Waite


 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Cabin Bound

The time I spend with my family and dear friends at the Cabin in northern Wisconsin has become my favorite time of the year!  Every August Steve & I pack the boys and "accessories" into our family vehicle and trek halfway across the northern part of the United States to the small town of Minong, Wisconsin -- population 524. 

Famous for being the headquarters of Jack Link's Beef Jerky, this welcoming community is situated an hour south of Lake Superior amongst sandy soil, birch trees and pines.  Its many lakes and scenic waterways are a draw for city dwellers looking to escape the hustle and bustle in exchange for fishing, boating, hunting and everything outdoors! 

What began as a friendship in high school has blossomed into a life-long bond.  Karin and her family have graciously welcomed our entire brood for the past 8 summers and we've watched as our children have grown -- the grocery bill increasing with each subsequent year.

Our mid-August family excursion has included the start of several annual traditions:  Minong Days, a trip (or two) to Hayward, kayaking down the Namekagon, the Midnight Chunky Dunk, early morning fishing, swimming at the sandbar, sailing, a picnic on Pancake Island, Haakon's birthday party, a wedding anniversary, boating on the Minong Flowage with a stop at Sand Island and several others.  We'll soon have to extend our stay beyond 10 days to accommodate all the fun!

Rendevous Supper!
We've made some new friends too!  The Boisen's introduced us to "Rendevous", a trading fair for mountain men during the early 1800's.  Two years ago, Jim & Judy replicated this event, staging trading tents, knife-pitching and finishing the evening off with a traditional barbeque. 
Rendevous











The Cabin on the lake

What began as the Gulbrandsen cabin-getaway has become their year-round family home.  Each year has added another element to the cabin compound.  This year Erik built a little cabin near the lakefront -- enabling us to enjoy the beautiful sunset bug-free from this in haven in the woods. 









Another highlight to my week is a visit from Karin's mom, Ardis and sisters, Kristin & Jennifer - who have become like family to me!  I even think we have begun to look alike - I fit right in, don't I?

The Northwoods Girls
My boys (Steve included!) anticipate our Cabin trip each year.  Dinner conversation includes Cabin talk for weeks before we leave.  The waders made the trip with us this year but were never used -- there was less time for fishing but more time spent sailing and being just plain silly on the lake!
Dan & Matt became expert sailors
Jake in his pool-boat
Jake taking the plunge
We visited family in Ashland - thanks JoAnn, Todd & kids!  Swimming in Lake Superior was refreshing and fun watching the kids enjoy the high dive.  
The three guys - forced smiles, of course!
Amazingly amidst all the family activity, Karin and I were able to spend together as friends too -- riding the gator to her weekly bible study at The River Church (its a WONDERFUL place!) and exploring project options at the local yarn shop. 
 

We had a wonderful trip -- it came to an end way too quickly.  September is here, school has begun and daily routines are back in full-swing.  I treasure the memories made this year as well as in years past and am already looking forward to more in years to come!

So - what's the point in my writing about my trip?  Perhaps not much -- other than I've learned to treasure the dear friends who have joined my life's journey.  Some have been family -- siblings, cousins and in-laws, and others have been friends....but grafted in as family along the way. 

God created a wonderful gift when He placed us together in community and I am thankful for those in mine. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

A hole in the clouds


My day began with tossing and turning…in my bed …at 3am.  No matter how many times I closed my eyes – those few additional hours of sleep were not meant to be.  So by 4 I gave up.  I crawled out of bed, tiptoed into the kitchen and poured my first cup of coffee.

Part of me anticipated something big, thinking, God would only awaken me if He had something important to reveal, right?  So, with coffee in hand, I grabbed my bible and journal, and settled in my comfy chair for some treasured solitude with God.

Although I just returned from a relaxing family vacation, the anxiety I’d been nursing remained and lying lakeside provided but a brief reprieve from the stress worry brings.  Lets face it – these are trying times.  Our personal worlds are filled with unique situations that bring fear on varied fronts.  Yet the question for me remains, why this ongoing struggle of worry & fear within my heart when my head is aware of God’s promises?

Some would respond to my question with, “you should spend more time in prayer” or  “you should memorize scriptures to battle your fears”.  While true (and I completely agree!), right now for me that is easier said than done.  Yet, perhaps this was the reason behind my early morning anticipation – the hope of God speaking a word of reassurance directly into the cares of my life.

Of course…..He did.

I ashamedly admit taking a sneak peak at my laptop before my Bible.  My reasoning was to check the precise time for sunrise.  Surely seeing the sun come over the horizon would remind me of God’s greatness and assure me of His power.  So at 6am, I ventured outside -- along with my third helping of morning java -- pointed my face east and waited.   As morning dawned, rather than being greeted by the golden hues of a rising sun, my eyes met puffy grey clouds, moving quickly across the sky. 

Ok God….what’s the purpose in this? 

Where’s the sun?

The rolling, grey clouds changed shape and shade as the gentle breeze moved them onward.  Long, taffy-like stretches of darkness were mixed with milky grey as the sun rose behind the cloud front.  I thought about how much the clouds resembled my cares – some appearing heavier and moving along more slowly than others. 

Then I saw it – a hole in the clouds.  It gradually began to grow in size and brightness. 

Just like life…. those rolling clouds and shades of gray resemble my trials and trouble.  As my heart looks upward toward God, I can choose to focus on His power and promises.  Then, amidst the clouds of fear and worry, a glimpse of sunshine and light appears.

As I finish this writing – the skies have darkened yet again.  But I’m learning that that God’s light is waiting behind the clouds.  The hope I have as His beloved daughter never really darkens.  It may be shaded by the clouds of worry and fear, but I can know that the light of God’s promises remain strong and true. 

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  Psalm 62:5&6 NIV

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.  Proverbs 3:5&6 The Message

Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, “God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” Hebrews 13:6 The Message

Thursday, August 4, 2011

One Gutsy Gal


Someone recently commented that I was a nice person – a very nice compliment (no pun intended).  Please don’t misunderstand; I appreciate an accolade now and then -- yet sometimes I tire of my niceness. 

My being nice doesn’t make a dramatic difference in the world.  Nor is it risky or daring.  Sometimes being nice means I don’t get my way.  Hmmmm, doesn’t sound very exciting, does it?
 
I used to think being nice was foundational to living out my faith.  Boy was I wrong (& completely misinformed)!  Jesus wasn't always nice.  Last time I checked, He even had a few enemies. 

In her book Nice Girls Don’t Change the World, Lynn Hybels states that the opposite of being a nice girl is a “good woman”. 

A good woman means trading the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness.  It means moving from the weakness and immaturity of girlhood toward the strength and maturity of womanhood.  (pg 21)

Among other things - she goes on to say that a good woman doesn’t let fear stop her and that a “good woman can be, in reality, a dangerous woman – a woman who shows up with everything she is and joins the battle against whatever opposes the redeeming work of God in our lives and in our world.“(pg 89)

Tucked away in chapters 4 – 6 of the Biblical book of Judges is a brief story of a very dangerous woman who rose above her circumstances and became a hero.  Although most of us have never seen her story played out on a Sunday School felt board, it is one worth telling. 

Jael lived several thousand years ago -- hundreds of years before Jesus walked the earth.  Most likely she was a very well behaved wife, housekeeper, mother and friend.  Although she was an Israelite, her husband had uprooted his family from their close-knit tribal community and re-settled amongst the neighboring Canaanites.  We are told that her husband formed a friendly alliance with the Canaanite King Jabin. 

At this time in history, the Israelites and Canaanites were hostile neighbors -- the Canaanites having the upper hand.  Sisera, a ruthless and cruel Canaanite army commander was making life miserable for the Israelites – a misery that continued for decades.

Weary from the severe Canaanite oppression, the Israelites cried out to God for help.  We’re told that God told the Israelite army to advance & attack the Canaanites, promising a victory.  So, the poorly armed Israelites marched into battle against Sisera’s superior military force. 

As the battle between the two armies ensued, God sent a violent storm to confuse the Canaanite warriors.  They charged into a valley, where they died by the swords of the Israelites.  Not a single Canaanite warrior survived.  However, their commander Sisera, managed to escape on foot.

“Meanwhile, Sisera ran to the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, because Heber’s family was on friendly terms with King Jabin of Hazor.  Jael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, “come into my tent, sir.  Come in. Don’t be afraid.”  So he went into her tent, and she covered him with a blanket.
“Please give me some water, “ he said.  “I’m thirsty.”  So she gave him some milk from a leather bag and covered him again.
“Stand at the door of the tent” he told her.  “If anybody comes and asks you if there is anyone here, say no.”
But when Sisera fell asleep from exhaustion, Jael quietly crept up to him with a hammer and tent peg in her hand.  Then she drove the tent peg through his temple and into the ground and so he died. 
Judges 4:17 – 21 NLT

Wowzers!  Gotta give Jael credit for her bravery and quick thinking prowess.  She is quite the gutsy gal. 

So gutsy in fact that she became a legend amongst her people.  Judges chapter 6 includes a song with a portion written in her honor:

“Most blessed among women is Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite.  May she be blessed above all women who live in tents.
Sisera asked for water, and she gave him milk.  In a bowl fit for nobles, she brought him yogurt.
Then with her left hand she reached for a tent peg, and with her right hand for the workman’s hammer.
She struck Sisera with the hammer, crushing his head.
With a shattering blow, she pierced his temples.
He sank, he fell, he lay still at her feet.
And where he sank, there he died.”            Judges 5:24-27

So, what have I learned from this dangerous woman?
     Like Jael, I can choose to see purpose in my circumstances – and believe that God has positioned me for a perfect opportunity to serve Him no matter how alone, overwhelmed or afraid I may feel.  It was Jael’s circumstances that strategically positioned her for the opportunity to become a hero to her people.
     Like Jael, I can choose not to allow my status to limit me. Isn’t it just like God to chose someone weak to vanquish someone strong?  Although I may feel inadequate, unprepared and insignificant, God can make a way for me to emerge victorious over any challenge.  Sisera was a wicked military leader with thousands of warriors at his disposal, yet he was no match for God’s warrior, Jael. 
     Like Jael, I can take action – no matter how risky or out-of-the-box it may seem.  When Jael saw the opportunity, rather than wait for someone else to come along, she steadied her hand, raised her hammer and struck.  

How about you?  Do you find yourself living amidst complicated circumstances?  Perhaps you are far from home or living amongst the unfamiliar.  Or - you may feel alone, inadequate or weak.  May Jael's story give you a different perspective with which to view your world AND give you hope for the future.

Lynn Hybel wrote this poem and included in her book.  It inspires me and I pray that it may inspire you to live "dangerously" too!

May we be dangerous women.
May we be women who acknowledge our power to change, and grow, and be radically alive for God.
May we be healers of wounds and righters of wrongs.
May we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
May we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.
May we pray deeply and teach wisely.
May we be srong and gentle leaders.
May we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.
May we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us, and righteous anger energize.
May we strike fear into all that is unjust and evil in the world.
May we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.
May we shine like stars in a darkened generation. 
May we overflow with goodness in the name of God and by the power of Jesus. 
And in that name, and by that power, may we change the world.
Dear God, Please make us dangerous women.
Amen.

Friday, July 29, 2011

How did I get here?



A video link came to my email box this morning that was just what I needed for encouragement today.  Before me are several opportunities and subsequent decisions.  Perhaps you find yourself in the same situation – facing several options or choices – which do you choose?

I often struggle with past decisions made based upon my belief that God was leading me down a particular path.  Then, when that particular path doesn’t seem to lead to where I thought it would, or if the destination looks different than expected, I find myself confused and begin asking all sorts of questions.

Did I “hear” God correctly?

Were my decisions based I upon what I thought to be best? Or was I really listening to God’s leading?

Was I impatient or impulsive (not all that unusual for me!) or did I step forward too quickly?

How did I get here?  It looks totally unfamiliar!  This was not what I had planned.

Author and speaker Beth Moore gives guidance towards these questions in this video recorded at the Catalyst 2010 conference.  It’s only a few minutes long – watching it makes me want to see more.

Catalyst East 2010: Beth Moore from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Just as Beth shares in this video, perhaps I too have been focusing my energies on the destination rather than on my experience with God while on the journey.  She stresses that we are to focus on the One we are following rather than getting caught up in the destination.  

God’s desire is for a relationship with me and with you – He wants us to know Him and trust Him more today than we did yesterday.  Sometimes God may allow us to take a particular journey in order that we experience His love in a new way – the destination may not be important but the journey sure was! 

This has been my experience on more than just a few occasions.  For some of them, I’m thankful that the place I was headed was not where God would have me remain.  Rather, it was the journey to and back from those places that have given me the ability to know Him differently and trust Him more deeply than I ever had before. 

What about you?  Are you on a journey towards a particular destination or goal and now wonder if you are on the right path?  Have you reached a destination that looks completely different than you expected?

I’m learning to refocus my vision on the One who created me -- the One who places desires and dreams in my heart.  Even though I my get sidetracked, distracted — and even disappointed, I won’t be discouraged.  I know that God can handle my regrets, missteps and failures; and that, when I turn to Him, He can and will work out all things for my good and His glory.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pride, Dignity & Humility




Pride has myriad meanings.  Sometimes it is a healthy, positive feeling -- a sense of pride for belonging to a family, town, school or club; for finally achieving a much sought after accomplishment; or upon reaching an important milestone.   

Pride can also be a feeling of superiority.  One dictionary defined pride as: a high or inordinate opinion of ones own dignity, importance, merit or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing or conduct.    

Hmmmm... sounds a little like thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought.  

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels”  -  St. Augustine  

The Bible tells us that pride deceives us (Obadiah 1:3), it breeds quarrels (Proverbs 13:10) and leads us to destruction (Proverbs 16:18).  Furthermore, we learn that God despises pride (Proverbs 8:13) and is opposed to those who are proud (James 4:6).  Clearly this is pride that is self-focused – perhaps even taking the credit ourselves when it belongs to God.    

Sometimes we confuse pride with dignity – I once read that pride is something intentionally projected outwardly and dignity is an attitude held within.    

Dignity can be defined as inherent value or worth.  Upon creation, God gave us inherent dignity.  We were formed in His image (Genesis 1:26) and God places high value upon each and every life.  We are the “Apple of His Eye” (Psalm 17:8) and were created to enjoy life as God’s children, to be a blessing to one another, and to work for His purposes.    

Our dignity is not in what we do, it is based upon who God says we are.  So having a sense of dignity is clearly what God desires.    

The opposite of pride is humility.  Humility produces wisdom (Proverbs 11:2), leads to honor (Proverbs 15:33), and brings peace and prosperity (Psalm 37:11).  God sees the humble (Psalm 138:6) and offers them grace and salvation (Psalm 139:4).  

Humility may often be seen as weakness.  However, pursuing it requires a great deal of supernatural strength and inner discipline.    

“Pride is concerned with who is right, humility is concerned with what is right”
 – Ezra Taft Benson  

Recognizing my pride and choosing to pursue humility is not without challenges.  I can begin by putting others needs first, balancing my personal responsibilities with the pursuit of my dreams, and ascribing the good that comes from my life to God alone.    

Sometimes my pride is a fence that limits intimacy amidst meaningful relationships.  It can be hard (and humbling!) to acknowledge and take responsibility for when my actions have hurt another (without listing all the reasons or excuses for my behavior).    

God’s plan for me (and you too!) is so much more than self-centered, empty pursuits.  When I pursue God-given desires, I live my life around God rather than myself.  When our plans are God-centered, we open the door to opportunity for God to work through us – ultimately reflecting the King of all creation.  

Author and speaker Beth Moore refers to pride as the vicious enemy and humility as a friend.  She shares this poem in one of her books –
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny…
because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment…
because you “deserve better than this.”
I cheat you of knowledge…
because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing…
because you are too full of you to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness…
because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.
I cheat you of vision…
because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship…
because nobody’s going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love…
because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven…
because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.
I cheat you of God’s glory…
because I convinced you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you.
Untrue.
I’m looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…
If you stick with me you’ll never know.  

I’m learning to re-direct any credit given me to the One that deserves it.  God.  I want nothing--especially pride--to hinder any work that God is doing in me or through me.  I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes, my prideful pursuits truly do lead to destruction! Yet thankfully, God’s grace and mercy can overcome anything.  And as I pursue humility through His strength – it makes a way for God to pour out His blessing upon me.